


Tell Me What You Need

by ManaBanana



Category: Naruto
Genre: Anxiety, Established Relationship, Gaara just wants to help, Lee is too selfless to see that, M/M, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-30
Updated: 2019-04-30
Packaged: 2020-02-10 11:18:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18659380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ManaBanana/pseuds/ManaBanana
Summary: Sometimes Lee liked to disappear.Gaara didn't think to question it until he spotted a pattern.





	Tell Me What You Need

**Author's Note:**

> This was sparked after talking to my good friend DrChickenSlinger about how a lot of fics address Gaara's mental problems, but it isn't often we talk about Lee's. So, here we are!
> 
> Enjoy!

Sometimes Lee liked to disappear. It wasn't something Gaara tended to fuss over because he got antsy when kept in the house all day. He couldn't stomach the idea of sitting at a desk, poring over paperwork like Gaara did. He needed to move. So Gaara didn't mind if he was out training or buying groceries or pursuing one of his ridiculous challenges that usually involved walking through the village on his hands.

He would offer a quick "I'll be back" with a tiny kiss to Gaara's cheek after hours of scanning mission reports.

He would return to shower, they would eat dinner together, and they would allow the other's breathing to lull them to sleep.

But there were some times when Lee would return and hurriedly shove off to the bathroom for a shower before Gaara could make it downstairs to greet him. On the rare occasion Gaara would ask about this, Lee would brush it off with a silly excuse:

"Oh, I was very sweaty!" or "My training clothes need washing!" or "I didn't know you were home."

Gaara didn't think to question it.

But after a few months, he started to notice those particular days were followed by a pattern.

After Lee bolted off to take a shower, he would come into the kitchen to greet Gaara with a kiss. He tended to hug him longer than usual and allowed Gaara to do most of the talking during dinner, which usually resulted in them reaching across the table to hold hands while they ate, since Gaara wasn't the most talkative person. By the time they finished quietly getting ready for bed, they would settle onto their mattress and Lee would pull Gaara to lie on his chest while they cuddled.

It was a bit odd, but again, Gaara never thought to question it. Until one night, while Lee was spooning him, he noticed his grip was beginning to loosen. Sometimes this happened if Lee was starting to fall asleep, but his breathing hadn't slowed the same way.

Gaara flipped his body around in Lee's arms to face him completely. It was hard to see in the dark, but when he reached a hand out to push Lee's bangs out of his face, he noticed his eyes were still open.

"Lee?" His voice came out a little scratchy. "Are you okay?"

He nodded back, but in the faint light that poured in through their bedroom window, Gaara noticed his eyes glistened more than usual. He hoped Lee wasn't crying. Usually if he was, he would say it was because he thought Gaara looked so beautiful, but... 

"Do you need anything?" Gaara ran his thumb across Lee's cheek.

"... No."

Lee averted his gaze. It was odd that he wasn't speaking much. He stared off in the swarming darkness of their room for a moment. Gaara pulled Lee's head down to press their foreheads together and breathed him in. After nearly falling asleep, he heard Lee speak up.

"Gaara?"

"Hm…?"

"Can you lie on my chest?" Lee asked. "Please?"

There was that request again…

Gaara moved to accommodate it. "Of course."

He pushed himself off the mattress as Lee shifted fully onto his back. Gaara pressed his arms on either side of Lee's body and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before settling onto the most comfortable part of his chest, nestling his face into the crook of his neck. He never understood why Lee liked him to lie that way, but if it made Lee feel better, he supposed it was okay. 

Lee was odd in his own way. He had numerous quirks and eccentricities that Gaara just learned to appreciate solely because they were a part of Lee.

As he adjusted himself, he felt Lee's hand against his outer thigh. Seeming to want more contact, Lee hoisted Gaara's leg over his body to lie almost completely on top of him. Gaara thought this effectively smothered Lee, but when he felt a kiss to the top of his head and the soft stroke of Lee's fingers against his spine, he at least knew Lee was comfortable.

"I love you," Lee said softly. Gaara squeezed him tighter in a silent reply and the two allowed themselves to fall asleep.

\--

The next morning, Lee was already out doing his morning laps. Gaara briefly remembered the brush of Lee's lips against his forehead before tumbling back into sleep, getting as much rest as he could before heading out to the Kazekage office. As he shifted over in bed, he wished Lee was still there to hold him snugly against his chest. At least there was always the promise of cuddling when he came home from work.

The day passed relatively smoothly, but Gaara couldn't quell the thought in the back of his head that wondered if Lee was okay. Something about the tone of his voice when he asked to hold Gaara just didn't sit well with him. He spent most of the day anxiously tapping his desk, which only accomplished the annoyance of the Anbu who guarded the door.

Gaara rushed home the second he was able.

When he stepped through the door and hung his Kage robes, he called through the house.

"Lee?" he waited for a response. "I'm home!"

That was odd… Lee usually greeted Gaara before he could even fully step through the door. By now, he would have felt the surge of Lee's chakra as he bolted from the other side of the house to sweep Gaara up and pepper his face with thousands of kisses. Maybe he was still out training.

Gaara made his way to the bedroom.

"Lee?" he tried again.

His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the toilet flushing and after a few moments, he saw Lee emerge from the bathroom. His eyes looked sunken in, like he hadn't slept much the previous night, but he brightened a bit when he saw Gaara.

"Oh! Gaara, hi," he said softly. He wiped his wet hands on the pair of sweatpants he was wearing and walked over slowly.

Gaara closed the space between them and slipped his arms around Lee's waist. He analyzed his expression, searching his face as if the solution to Lee's problem was written somewhere there. Gaara let out a tiny sigh and kissed his cheek.

"Is everything okay?" Gaara asked, lips still pressed to his cheek.

Lee nodded. "I'm just… sleepy."

"Is that all?" Gaara asked. He pulled away to look at Lee, whose thick eyebrows were still slanted up.

"Mhm," came Lee's response. He offered a quick kiss before wrapping his arms fully around Gaara, holding him close for what might have been too long. Lucky for Gaara, a hug from Lee didn't have a time limit.

"You're so warm," Gaara mused, running his fingers along Lee's spine.

He heard Lee breathe out the tiniest laugh.

Gaara pulled away. With a delicate touch, he tucked a strand of hair behind Lee's ear, allowing his hand to linger for a few extra seconds.

"Are you hungry?" Gaara asked him. "I can make dinner tonight if you're too tired."

"Okay," was all Lee said.

Gaara pulled him back in to kiss his cheek again. He supposed that was better than Lee saying nothing at all. Sometimes he offered those clipped responses and Gaara was never sure how to handle them because that type of response was his job. Lee often spoke so much for so long that sometimes Gaara had to remind him to breathe.

"Lee." He made sure they were looking at each other. "I love you."

That earned him a small smile. "I love you, too."

The two of them left their bedroom and Gaara made his way into the kitchen while Lee busied himself with push-ups in the living room. They continued that way for awhile, basking in the comfortable silence Gaara usually enjoyed after spending hours surrounded by the chaos of his job. The last bit of sunlight was beginning to dip over the landscape and Gaara smiled as he cooked.

After some time, Gaara felt Lee's arms snake around his waist from behind and jumped slightly at the sudden contact; Lee had entered so quietly.

"I'm going to finish the last of my training outside," he said. "I will be back soon."

Gaara spun around to face him. He wasn't even wearing his training tights or his weights. "Dinner will be ready soon." 

Lee's eyes were trained to the wall and he didn't look at Gaara when he spoke. "I won't be long."

With that he was off. Gaara let out a small sigh as he finished preparing the last of their meal. Lee had already set the table, but something still wasn't right. Even when Lee was sad or homesick, seeing Gaara after work was usually enough to brighten his mood. If not that, a kiss, a touch, a conversation about his day… there were few things that could keep Lee in such a dismal state for so long and Gaara couldn't figure out for the life of him what it was.

Lee was so amazing when it came to emotions. Especially on Gaara. Whenever Gaara began to feel anxious or upset, Lee was so good at finding just the right thing to placate him. Gaara only wished he could return the favor.

He stared out the window and sighed, resting a cheek against his palm as he got lost in his thoughts. Dinner was ready and Lee still hadn't come home…

Gaara decided to go check on him. He encased himself in sand and appeared in the Suna training grounds mere moments later, scanning his surroundings.

"Lee?" he called. He took a few steps and tried once more. "Lee!"

Just then, Gaara was alerted by a slight hiccupping sound. He turned to one of the training posts and made his way over cautiously.

"Lee?"

Gaara peered around and saw none other than his sweet Lee curled in on himself behind the training post, hugging his knees to his chest to prevent his hands from shaking. He could hear the uneven gasps of breath Lee was taking as he tried to stop himself from crying.

The sound alone was enough to break his heart.

He knelt down and pulled at one of Lee's wrists, causing him to look up and meet his gaze. 

His face was splotchy, his hair looked like he had been tearing through it with restless fingers, his eyes were a stinging shade of red…

Gaara's heart didn't just break. It shattered. It broke into so many tiny fragments, he could practically see them scattered across the floor and shimmering like the tears that streamed down Lee's cheeks.

"Please go away," Lee choked out.

That only made things worse.

"Lee, what's going on?" Gaara asked. He just wanted to do what Lee always did for him. "Please talk to me."

Lee dissolved into another mess of sobs and gasps for breath. Gaara held one of his hands tight to stabilize him.

"I want to help you."

Lee squeezed his hand back. They sat that way for awhile while Lee tried to calm his breathing. Gaara reached his free hand out toward Lee's face to wipe his tears once he stopped shaking.

"Lee, how long has this been going on?"

Lee sniffled. "Maybe a few minutes."

What a sweet fool…

"No, Lee," Gaara said, "These… attacks."

"Oh…" He considered that for a moment and hiccupped. "I'm not sure. They are not as common as they used to be."

"That doesn't mean they don't still happen." Gaara rubbed his thumb across a tear-stained cheek.

Gaara felt horrible. After almost a year of being together, Lee had made sure to take excellent care of him. Any time Gaara was feeling nervous or on the brink of a mental breakdown, Lee was there to ground him with some form of contact that managed to make Gaara feel better almost instantaneously. How many of these did Gaara miss for Lee? He had been wrapped up in his own psyche that it seemed he had completely neglected Lee's, viewing him as the pinnacle of perfect health. How could someone so sweet and positive have something so awful tormenting them on the inside?

But Lee was so selfless. It was well within his character to disregard his personal health for the benefit of someone else. Especially his significant other.

That didn't mean his struggles didn't exist.

"Please don't think I'm upset with you, okay? But…" Gaara sighed. "Lee, why didn't you tell me?"

Lee took a shaky breath. "I didn't want you to worry about me. You have such an important job."

"Lee, you're my boyfriend. I'm going to worry about you no matter what, whether I'm the Kazekage or not."

Lee averted his gaze, but his breathing was starting to pick up again.

"What do you need?" Gaara pressed. Lee shook his head as more tears began to flow. "Lee, I want to help you. But I can't do that unless you tell me what you need, okay?"

He nodded. "Okay…"

"Do you want to stay out here? Do you want to go home?"

"I want to go home," he gasped.

"Okay." Gaara coaxed him out of his curled up position and guided Lee's head onto his shoulder. His entire body felt like it was on fire. "Hold your breath for a second, alright?"

Lee nodded against his shoulder and did as he was told so Gaara could transport them home. When they pulled away, the two were on their bed at home and Lee relaxed just a little, save for his shakiness and tears.

"Let's lie down, okay?" Gaara suggested, trying to mimic the same comfort Lee extended to him.

He did as he was told. Gaara scooted close so Lee could rest his head in his lap while he ran his fingers through black, sweat-soaked hair. His breathing calmed just a bit and he draped one arm over Gaara's legs in search of his free hand. Gaara held his hand tight and leaned forward to kiss his temple.

"Is that better?" he asked.

Lee nodded.

A brief silence followed while Gaara stroked Lee's hair in a steady, controlled motion. He wondered if it was best to forgo their dinner plans and just embrace the silence until Lee calmed down or fell asleep.

He heard a muffled sound against his legs.

"Did you say something?" he asked.

"I'm sorry," Lee repeated. "For worrying you. And ruining dinner. And upsetting you."

Gaara felt his heart twisting. There was nothing Lee had to feel sorry for. Although he admitted he felt a little hurt that Lee would hide something as severe as his panic attacks from him, Gaara understood why he would have done it. Lee was already an emotional landmine and sometimes he felt even his tears born from happiness bothered Gaara, who kept things bottled up and restrained. Gaara had his own problems to deal with, so of course Lee would step in and help him if he thought he needed it more. As a boyfriend, he thought that was his job.

"You have nothing to apologize for," Gaara told him. He brushed Lee's bangs out of his face and mopped up the sweat that collected there with his shirtsleeve. "I'm not upset. But you have to let me help you. You already do so much for me, Lee, and I appreciate that to no end. But it has to go both ways. It's okay to ask for help."

He noticed Lee's eyebrows twitch in the same manner they did when he was determined to complete a challenge.

"Then if I don't let you help me, you won't love me anymore," he said with the same fiery passion in his eyes.

Evidently the point was missed.

"Lee, this isn't a challenge. This is a relationship," he said firmly. He turned Lee's head in his lap to look at him.

Lee's cheeks turned red with embarrassment.

"I want to help you because I love you. Sometimes I just need a little guidance."

Lee nodded. "I can do that."

"Thank you," Gaara said. He leaned forward to kiss Lee's temple again.

"I just don't want to be a burden to you," Lee murmured.

All Gaara could do was sigh. "Lee."

He looked up with those sad, round eyes of his.

"You are not a burden. You mean the world to me and I want nothing more than for you to be happy. I wouldn't ask you to let me carry you if I thought you were a burden."

He nodded again, squeezing Gaara's hand just a little tighter.

"Just tell me what you need," Gaara said, in case Lee hadn't heard him the first time.

He was quiet for a moment, but eventually looked back up at Gaara.

"Can you lie on me?" he asked. "On my chest?"

Gaara kissed him again. "Of course."

They shifted in bed until Lee was flat on his back and Gaara leaned over to press his weight fully against Lee's chest. It seemed to relax him.

"How's that?" Gaara asked.

"Great," Lee answered, holding him tight. "I like when we cuddle like this."

"Yeah?"

He nodded. "It's nice. I like the weight. And I like having you this close to me. It makes me feel… safe."

Gaara smiled at that. "I'm glad I could help."

The two ultimately decided to leave their dinner where it sat. For now, the only thing that mattered to Gaara was Lee.

**Author's Note:**

> missdetache.tumblr.com


End file.
